Last night I heard noises in the front yard and went to investigate. One of the dreaded deer was there, brazenly eating the grass. IN MY YARD! I needed to alert the humans, if they saw this maybe they would finally understand the gravity of the deer situation. Unfortunately the humans have the bad habit of either ignoring me or, for some strange reason, yelling at me when I bark in the middle of night. I knew I had to be extra loud and frantic to get their attention. It took a minute and left me rather hoarse but finally one came to investigate. He opened the curtain, took a look around, and then did the most inexplicable thing I could imagine: He patted me on the head and said, "It's just a deer. Go back to sleep."
Just a deer!?! There are giant creatures with sharpened spikes strapped to their heads invading our neighborhood and I'm not supposed to be concerned? I know humans are a little slow, but really? They don't see the problem!?! Since it appears I'm the only one who can see what's going on I must be prepared for the neighborhood to fall into the clutches of the evil deer. My first choice is to fight, but the time may come I when need to flee and regroup. In preparation I have begun construction of an escape tunnel under the backyard fence. I hope I don't need it, but I fear I will.
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