It's snowing. I hate snow. Some dogs seem to enjoy chasing snowflakes, I am not enough of a simpleton to be entertained by such mindless activities. It covers up all the interesting smells, it makes it hard to go potty, it sticks to fur and then slowly melts and makes you wet for hours. But worst of all THE COLD HURTS MY DELICATE LITTLE FEETIES! The humans tried to get me to wear booties, which might have been a good idea except: NO ONE TOUCHES MY PAWS. They won't try again. Miserable stuff, snow.
Day 2:
It stopped for now, but it's colder and not melting. I watched for several hours as the humans apparently tried to make statutes of themselves out of snow. Somehow their creations looked even more ridiculous than the originals. What a waste of time and energy. Humans are morons. I decided to do something useful and punish the stupid yellow thing.
Day 3:
It's snowing again. I am growing concerned because I have noticed that the humans haven't gone past the front yard since the snow started. If it lasts much longer I fear we could run out of chicken. I am forced to make a decision that fills me with, not guilt... revulsion I guess: If necessary I will eat the humans to survive. I HATE SNOW.
Day 4:
The Snowpocalypse is finally coming to an end. It's getting warmer and the snow is beginning to melt. This nightmare continued for far too long. I feel I only survived due to my incredible strength and fortitude. No doubt many lesser animals perished in the icy wastes.
Unfortunately the snow is being replaced with wind and driving rain. Which reminds me: I HATE RAIN ALMOST AS MUCH AS SNOW. Stupid weather. Man, I really need some chicken.
No comments:
Post a Comment